If Silence Could Scream

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

-Psakn 34:18

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

-Revelation 21:4

 He's sullen.  The only time he really smiles is when he has done something ornery or even mean to one of his classmates.  On the playground, he is often too rough or downright physically aggressive.  Sometimes he almost falls asleep in class.  If his silence would scream it would show us that daddy was drunk again last night, and the fighting and fury went on until the wee hours.  He's tired and scared.  But he will never tell you.

The woman at work is large and in charge.  She has a short fuse, and wants to be in control of everything.  She jumps on others first, to be sure they don't jump on her.  She's really hard to be around, unforgiving, rude, in your face.  If her silence screamed, you would see a woman who feels out of control at home.  She lives in an environment where she is never sure what will come next.  She can't get her hand on anything...always just wanting some peace.  She will never tell you.

The mom could be described as a helicopter mom.  Always bragging on her children.  Getting in theirs (and everybody else's business) constantly.  People around her can't avoid listening to her constant stories about how smart, how cute, how wonderful her children are.  But, if her silence screamed, she would tell you about that son who is drinking or taking drugs, and she is helpless to stop him.  Or that daughter who is sleeping around, and she's scared to death for her.  Or the child with anger issues so strong something awful is about to happen.  She will never confide these things in anyone.

Their lives are perfect.  They have a beautiful house, beautiful cars, beautiful everything.  They are the happiest people in town.  At church, they seem to be the most devout people you know.  But if you heard the silent scream, you would know the distance between them is so wide it cannot be crossed.  They haven't had a close relationship....any relationship....in many years.  She's so lonely she fights depression.  And he's so lonely, other women look really good.  Too good.  You won't hear this one either.

She's a lovely, athletic teen.  She seems happy and carefree, always looking to have fun.  But some of her choices are questionable at best.  People say, ' Oh it's just being a teenager!'  But if her silence could scream, we would see someone who doesn't feel like she belongs anywhere.  Her family is not the fairy tale.  All she wants is to be loved and cared for. Somewhere.  Anywhere.  But you'll get nothin' from her.

We all have silent screams.  There are tons more examples of things that are crushing people's spirits, while they put on a brave face, or at least a different face, to hide what's really going on.  I was watching "This is Us" this week, one of my favorite shows.  The only reason I hesitate to watch it sometimes is because the emotions are so raw, so real, they make me cry every time.  And I don't like to cry.  Anyway, in this episode, Rebecca is dealing with the loss of her beloved Jack.  She has been trying to soldier on, for the sake of the 3 kids she is now raising alone.  In this scene, she loses it.  She is supposed to be going to her son's graduation, but she can't stop crying and screaming.  Her husband's friend consoles her and sympathizes with her.  Hers is an acceptable and expected kind of pain.

But what about those situations that are not acceptable and/or expected?  The little boy is probably not going to tell you what's going on at home.  He's been told not to, and he doesn't even recognize that situation as the source of his anger.  The woman at work CERTAINLY is not going to tell you about her marriage relationship.  Too much shame to share.  And the mom?  Well, she's probably not going to share either, because to do so would show the world what a mess her family is in.   So, they all scream silently.

I have silent screams.  You do too.  They can be anywhere on the spectrum from minor to devastating.  But they are things that are causing us stress, anguish, even shame.  Things that threaten to crush our spirit. Things too hard to share.

But there is Someone we can share all of that with.  He knows anyway.  And He will provide something we all need because of our screams.....peace.  Scripture says:

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."

- 1 Peter 5:7

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

-Philippians 4:7

This last one is my favorite about peace.  I have used the Amplified Bible version, because it really makes things clear to me:

"You will keep in perfect and consant peace the one whose mind is steadfast (that is, committed and focused on You - in both inclination and character), Because he trusts and takes refuge in You (with hope and confident expectation).

- Isaiah 26:3

I like this version on this verse, because it shows me that peace is not just something easily grabbed by someone 'playing' at this Christianity thing.  It's much deeper than that.  It requires committment, focus, hope, and confident expectation toward the only One who can grant us peace.  Kind of explains the lack of it sometimes, doesn't it?

I get the fact that we can't control anyone else's behavior.  If my silent screams are based on another person's actions, that behavior may not change.  And if I am in danger, I need to escape that situation immediately.  God never calls us to endure dangerous situations if we can help it at all.  But many of our screams are situations that, while we are not in danger physically, we are in spiritual and emotional danger.  And that danger can destroy us just as much as the physical does.

So "scream" at Him.  He can  take it.  And if you commit, focus, hope and expect, He.....and only He.....will provide that perfect peace.  Those screams may become silenced, not just silent, under the peace that only comes from one Source.  The only Source.