Fairy Tale Fantasy

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles.  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
-Psalm 34:17-18

"And the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered  a little while,  will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast."
-1 Peter 5:10




We all watch them...well many of us  anyway.  You know, the Hallmark movies.  The "happily ever after" ones where eveything works out in the end, everybody gets along with everyone else, and all is right with the world.  They are "feel good" movies, because watching them does make you feel good.....unless.....

Unless in our own lives things aren't all sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows.  Unless we have problems in relationships that are  too painful to talk about to others, so we stuff them down and suffer in silence.  Things like children who have deserted the faith, a misunderstanding between sisters that causes no comunication, a divorce, a family member who has a substance abuse problem, children who don't keep in touch with the parents who miss them so much, an abusive or neglectful spouse.......and on and on.  
Often, when we have these types of issues in our lives, we feel like we are the only ones in the world who have these problems.  We feel grief, pain, and guilt.  We toss the situation over and over in our minds...."What could I have done differently?  How can I change this?  This is my fault.  No one else has this stuff going on...all the people I know seem happy and carefree." In reality, that is totally not true. We all have heartaches of one sort or another.  If we knew what each person faces, there is a strong possibility our problems would seem small in comparison.

Jesus knew we would suffer with all kinds of things here on earth. He had family and friend issues just like we do.  In John 7:5 it says:

"For even his own brothers did not believe in him."

Can you imagine?  The half-siblings of the Savior of the world, and they thought he was crazy.  I am certain this was a great source of pain for him.  Even more, the Bible is full of scriptures about suffering, enduring it, prevailing through it, growing from it.  We know the promises.  But as we live it, honestly it is just hard to deal with.  Especially those issues that don't seem to improve....the ones that continue year after year, even becoming worse over time.  In our humanness, it just becomes so stinking hard to persevere.

Because He knows what it feels like, Jesus provides many promises for us when we strive to survive and even flourish during our greatest hurts.  Go ahead...Google 'scripture for suffering', and you will get a list of  where this has been addressed in the Bible.  Two that really speak to me are:

"We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies."
-2 Corinthians 4:8-10

and

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you."
-Isaiah 43:2

Those are promises, folks.  Promises that are kept.  No matter how these trials get us down, He is not going to let us go down in the fire.  He's gonna rescue us.  Although obviously part of our rescue is to remain in Him, through Bible study and prayer, there are also practical things we can do when our world seems to be falling apart.

First and foremost, we need to forget the fantasy we have in our mind of how our families and relationships SHOULD be.  Life is never going to be a Hallmark movie.  Our family life is not going to be like the "Waltons" or "Leave it to Beaver".  It's just not.  When we have those fantasies, even the smallest interrelational problem becomes huge, simply because it does not measure up to our expectations.  Accepting our family members and relationships for what they are is the first step.  Praying for the issues and trusting God to deal with it is really the best thing we can do.  Don't raise your expectations so high that there is no way but down.  We didn't need a Savior because we are all perfect....we needed Him because we are NOT. Family members, relationships and OURSELVES included.

Secondly, we need to work to be the example of kindness to others.  Jesus calls us to be peacemakers.  Tough assignment sometimes, huh?  Luke 6:27-31  says:

"But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you pray for those who mistreat you.  If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also.  If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.  Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you."

and

"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult.  On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing."
-l Peter 3:9

That is a really tall order when you are hurting.  When you don't understand why and how.  When there seems there is no hope.  The problem is, scripture isn't just there so we can pick and choose which parts we like and want to follow.  We are to do the whole thing.  Hard or not.  This is, in reality, extending the same mercy to others that God has extended to us.  HMMMM..... remember, we are accountable to God for everything.  Even when we have been wronged or hurt. 

Does that mean we don't address issues?  Nope.  Jesus gave us many examples of calling foul when it was necessary.  A Christian is not called to be a doormat.  Problems are always less powerful when they are addressed correctly.  Ephesians 4:15 tells us:
"Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect, the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ."

Many times, when issues are swept under the carpet and willed to just "go away" they become bigger.  Sometimes, a situation requires us to do just what it tells us in Ephesians 4:15.  Sometimes we just have to address isues.  The best thing to do is to pray about it beforehand, getting God's guidance on when and how to do it.  It is difficult to talk about things that are hurtful, but sometimes it is what is necessary to start moving things in another direction.

I don't have a Pollyanna life.....I doubt if you do either. Sometimes it's really, really hard.  But I have promises that I won't be forsaken, that I will not be overwhelmed, consumed, or burned.  And I have to believe that.  It's not a fantasy.  It's truth.





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