I Love You More!!!!
"You shall have no other gods before me."
- Exodus 20:3
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength."
- Deuteronomy 6:5
I have to admit I am in a downer lately. Sorry.....guess I'm not supposed to be that way. But that's just the truth. I wonder if that is one of the reasons we fail to convince others sometimes. When we don't admit we have ups and downs, feel low, discouraged, even depressed.....does that tell others it's not allowed? That if they experience these feelings they don't "get it?" Since I'm a "Everything is out on the table" kind of girl, I tend to express everything. It's all out there. So here I am today. Downhearted, melancholy, a mess.
A friend posted something the other day that really caught my eye. This is what she said:
"What are you wanting in life right now? I had to take my own advice today as I reminded someone to want God more than the difficulty she was facing. Am I wanting God more than I am wanting 'fill in the blank', a mate, a baby, a job, a promotion, recognition, ANYTHING will fit in the blank. If you are wanting IT more than you are wanting God, it's Idolatry. OUCH, that hurt, I have some work to do!!"
That really got me thinking. What am I wanting? What would take this aching feeling away? What do I long for? In my case, at this point, it probably narrows down to family. What I want for my family. We have 2 children and 7 grandchildren, so there are pieces of my heart strung all over Missouri. Each one of them has needs, strengths, weaknesses. I pray for all of them constantly. There is one grandchild who has serious medical issues. I would take them in a heartbeat...I wish I could. And each one of these kids and grandkids has something I desire for them. I think on these things....ponder these things....sometimes obsess on these things.
Do I want all this more than I want God? The acceptable answer is no.....but the truthful answer is maybe....bordering on yes. I thought I had learned this lesson before. Twice. Two times, once for each of my children, when a broken heart convinced me I was crossing the line of idolatry. It was an agonizing event, but I knew I had to turn them back over to God, letting Him take His deserved and EARNED first place in my heart. Now, years later, it seems I am there again with both those adult children and their 7 children.
We like to think of idolatry as something material. The desire for new cars, clothes, electronics....the list can go on and on. But if we're honest, if we examine our hearts to the very core, what is it that we value beyond all the " stuff"? Of course - it's family. Friends. People.
I can't even have these thoughts without thinking of Job. He lost everything.....money, possessions, family. And at first, he was accepting those events and still praising God. But if you read the entire book of Job, you see there were darker days ahead for Job. Days of agony, questioning, fear. Job had some lessons to learn In the last chapters of the book, Job gets it. He understands the sovereignty of God and the part his pride has played in his own misery. He gets that God has motives and plans he can not begin to understand. He says: (NKJV)
"Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me which I did not know . Listen please and let me speak; You said, 'I will question you, and you shall answer Me.' I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eye sees You. Therefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes."
-Job 42:3-6
Job repented of his false beliefs that God does and should reward the righteous here on earth. He finally understood that God is God, He has authority, and He can do what He wishes with us. And what about Abraham! Genesis 22 says God asked him to sacrifice his son. Did he run and hide? Nope. He set about doing as God asked. Amazing. We don't get it sometimes, don't understand the 'why' of something when it is happening. Sometimes we never do. Not on this side of heaven.
C.S. Lewis is an amazing writer to read. Even though his work was written years ago, it speaks clearly to us today. When speaking about love for others in "The Four Loves", Lewis writes:
It is probably impossible to love any human being simply “too much.” We may love him too much in proportion to our love for God; but it is the smallness of our love for God, not the greatness of our love for the many that constitutes the inordinacy….But the question whether we are loving God or the earthly Beloved “more” is not, so far as concerns our Christian duty, a question about the comparative intensity of two feelings. The real question is, which (when the alternative comes) do you serve, choose, or put first? To which claim does your will in the last resort yield?”
So is it a question of place? Who has first place for me? I think I have to see that my concern/love for family could be idolatry. Giving all of them back to God, allowing Him the place in my life He deserves, and accepting His sovereignty is sometimes not an easy thing. Will I stop praying for my family? Never! Will I lose my concern for them, my wishes for them? Nope. But I see Him calling me to reorder my value system. C.S. Lewis also gives us this thought:
"By loving Him more than them we shall love them more than we do now."
Do we believe that? Does giving Him first place actually allow us to love our family and friends more? As my friend said, Ouch. I have work to do. Easy process? Absolutely not. But I suspect the downheartedness and melancholy I expressed earlier will lessen.....overtaken by the peace that passes all understanding. And more love for them.
- Exodus 20:3
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength."
- Deuteronomy 6:5
I have to admit I am in a downer lately. Sorry.....guess I'm not supposed to be that way. But that's just the truth. I wonder if that is one of the reasons we fail to convince others sometimes. When we don't admit we have ups and downs, feel low, discouraged, even depressed.....does that tell others it's not allowed? That if they experience these feelings they don't "get it?" Since I'm a "Everything is out on the table" kind of girl, I tend to express everything. It's all out there. So here I am today. Downhearted, melancholy, a mess.
A friend posted something the other day that really caught my eye. This is what she said:
"What are you wanting in life right now? I had to take my own advice today as I reminded someone to want God more than the difficulty she was facing. Am I wanting God more than I am wanting 'fill in the blank', a mate, a baby, a job, a promotion, recognition, ANYTHING will fit in the blank. If you are wanting IT more than you are wanting God, it's Idolatry. OUCH, that hurt, I have some work to do!!"
That really got me thinking. What am I wanting? What would take this aching feeling away? What do I long for? In my case, at this point, it probably narrows down to family. What I want for my family. We have 2 children and 7 grandchildren, so there are pieces of my heart strung all over Missouri. Each one of them has needs, strengths, weaknesses. I pray for all of them constantly. There is one grandchild who has serious medical issues. I would take them in a heartbeat...I wish I could. And each one of these kids and grandkids has something I desire for them. I think on these things....ponder these things....sometimes obsess on these things.
Do I want all this more than I want God? The acceptable answer is no.....but the truthful answer is maybe....bordering on yes. I thought I had learned this lesson before. Twice. Two times, once for each of my children, when a broken heart convinced me I was crossing the line of idolatry. It was an agonizing event, but I knew I had to turn them back over to God, letting Him take His deserved and EARNED first place in my heart. Now, years later, it seems I am there again with both those adult children and their 7 children.
We like to think of idolatry as something material. The desire for new cars, clothes, electronics....the list can go on and on. But if we're honest, if we examine our hearts to the very core, what is it that we value beyond all the " stuff"? Of course - it's family. Friends. People.
I can't even have these thoughts without thinking of Job. He lost everything.....money, possessions, family. And at first, he was accepting those events and still praising God. But if you read the entire book of Job, you see there were darker days ahead for Job. Days of agony, questioning, fear. Job had some lessons to learn In the last chapters of the book, Job gets it. He understands the sovereignty of God and the part his pride has played in his own misery. He gets that God has motives and plans he can not begin to understand. He says: (NKJV)
"Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me which I did not know . Listen please and let me speak; You said, 'I will question you, and you shall answer Me.' I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eye sees You. Therefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes."
-Job 42:3-6
Job repented of his false beliefs that God does and should reward the righteous here on earth. He finally understood that God is God, He has authority, and He can do what He wishes with us. And what about Abraham! Genesis 22 says God asked him to sacrifice his son. Did he run and hide? Nope. He set about doing as God asked. Amazing. We don't get it sometimes, don't understand the 'why' of something when it is happening. Sometimes we never do. Not on this side of heaven.
C.S. Lewis is an amazing writer to read. Even though his work was written years ago, it speaks clearly to us today. When speaking about love for others in "The Four Loves", Lewis writes:
It is probably impossible to love any human being simply “too much.” We may love him too much in proportion to our love for God; but it is the smallness of our love for God, not the greatness of our love for the many that constitutes the inordinacy….But the question whether we are loving God or the earthly Beloved “more” is not, so far as concerns our Christian duty, a question about the comparative intensity of two feelings. The real question is, which (when the alternative comes) do you serve, choose, or put first? To which claim does your will in the last resort yield?”
So is it a question of place? Who has first place for me? I think I have to see that my concern/love for family could be idolatry. Giving all of them back to God, allowing Him the place in my life He deserves, and accepting His sovereignty is sometimes not an easy thing. Will I stop praying for my family? Never! Will I lose my concern for them, my wishes for them? Nope. But I see Him calling me to reorder my value system. C.S. Lewis also gives us this thought:
"By loving Him more than them we shall love them more than we do now."
Do we believe that? Does giving Him first place actually allow us to love our family and friends more? As my friend said, Ouch. I have work to do. Easy process? Absolutely not. But I suspect the downheartedness and melancholy I expressed earlier will lessen.....overtaken by the peace that passes all understanding. And more love for them.
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