Mother's Desire
Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.
-Psalm 37:4
Another Mothers Day is over. As with many holidays in our culture, the build-up and hype is tremendous. Emotion sells. And, for some, it WAS a marvelous day with family...moms, grandmas, children, dinners out, smiles, laughter, and flowers. But it was certainly not that way for everyone, and possibly not even for the majority.
I have the whole gamut of mothers in my circle of friends....moms who lost children to death.....moms whose children are trapped in addictions to drugs or alcohol.....moms whose children are estranged.......children who have turned their backs on their parent's beliefs and lifestyle.... moms who, although they see their children, the relationship is strained at best.....moms who were alone or forgotten on this holiday. When the circle is extended even farther, there are moms who have children lost to adoption or abortion, and those who have recently lost their own moms. During this holiday we certainly can't forget women who never even got the chance to be moms in the first place.All of these examples point to people to whom Mother's Day can be painful.
Even mothers who seemingly have a "normal" parenting experience frequently second guess themselves. Questions like, "Am I doing this right?" "What did I do wrong?" " How can I make it better?" "Was it enough, right, wrong?" We can experience unspeakable joy, deep despair, peace or chaos...and sometimes all of these are in one day! It's a roller coaster from the time you get the pregnancy test results until your last breath. For almost all mothers, our deepest desire is that our children are happy, healthy, productive adults who love us back.
For some reason, we all have the idea that if we just do it all the right way, our children and families will have very few, if any, difficulties. But the reality is, perfect families don't exist. Perfect kids don't exist. Perfect moms don't exist. No family is perfect, no matter what it "looks" like from the outside. We all are human, and we all have difficulties from time to time. And although we know that with our heads, our hearts still convict us with guilt and frustration.
Just a little over 2 weeks ago, many of my friends participated with me in a ladies' retreat based on Beth Moore's "The Heart of our Desires". It was a simulcast done years ago, with a message that is always pertinent. As women, as mothers,we all have desires ....deep desires that don't change with time and mood. I suspect others are like me....most of those 'heart's desires' concern my family. It's a love and longing that begins and ends in the core of my being. I love them beyond explanation. And I want the absolute best for all of them. In her teaching, Beth was showing us that underneath those desires we have in our hearts are the basic needs we have, or as she stated it the "heart" of our desire. Her day of teaching can't possibly be summed up in this post, but the impact of what she was trying to teach is very meaningful here. In the lives of our families, our deepest desires may not always be granted by God. Sometimes that child still stays wayward. Sometimes a relationship is never restored. Sometimes in spite of all our prayers, hopes, and tears what we want for those we love best does not happen. Why? Truly the "heart of our desire" lies in a heart that needs to be at peace, loved, and secure. And although we sometimes think those things are found in others, they really are not. They are only found in Christ. When we accept and bask in Him, keeping that relationship growing and strong, He supplies us with what our heart needs, and gives us the peace and courage it takes to deal with all the other "stuff" that we really have no control over anyway. Recently a very wise woman posted something on Facebook that really spoke to me. She was being complemented for the kind of person her son turned out to be . Her comment was, ( and I quote) ...." We can teach what we want but it's up to them to put it into practice. He is dear, but that's what he's chosen to be." It's true. Life is all about choice. No matter what we did or didn't do, our children make the final choice in how they live their lives. Regret, guilt, and anguish do nothing to change that. The choice is in the hands of the individual. It's the same way with God. He can show us the way, give us examples, place the Truth in our hands. But the choice is ours.We can allow Him to give us the desires of our heart....peace, security, unfailing love, or we can choose otherwise. But it is a choice. This brings me to a quote you have probably heard from me before. I heard it many years ago. The quote is, "Most people do the best they can with what they know at the time." This can apply to ourselves, regarding past parenting and other mistakes that were made. It also can apply to our children and other loved ones we may be grieving for. Ponder that.
So, if we rely on the Father to give us the desires of our heart, does that mean we stop praying about family situations that need to be better? Never. Of course we pray....constantly. We love them...we wait for them, and we hope for a happy ending, whether here or in the hereafter. But in the meantime, we bask in the Father. He IS all we need. He IS the true desire of our hearts. He created us that way. A life filled with Him is the best "mothers desire" we can have for our children and families. Pray for that. BEG for that.....and rest in Him in the meantime.
I have the whole gamut of mothers in my circle of friends....moms who lost children to death.....moms whose children are trapped in addictions to drugs or alcohol.....moms whose children are estranged.......children who have turned their backs on their parent's beliefs and lifestyle.... moms who, although they see their children, the relationship is strained at best.....moms who were alone or forgotten on this holiday. When the circle is extended even farther, there are moms who have children lost to adoption or abortion, and those who have recently lost their own moms. During this holiday we certainly can't forget women who never even got the chance to be moms in the first place.All of these examples point to people to whom Mother's Day can be painful.
For some reason, we all have the idea that if we just do it all the right way, our children and families will have very few, if any, difficulties. But the reality is, perfect families don't exist. Perfect kids don't exist. Perfect moms don't exist. No family is perfect, no matter what it "looks" like from the outside. We all are human, and we all have difficulties from time to time. And although we know that with our heads, our hearts still convict us with guilt and frustration.
Just a little over 2 weeks ago, many of my friends participated with me in a ladies' retreat based on Beth Moore's "The Heart of our Desires". It was a simulcast done years ago, with a message that is always pertinent. As women, as mothers,we all have desires ....deep desires that don't change with time and mood. I suspect others are like me....most of those 'heart's desires' concern my family. It's a love and longing that begins and ends in the core of my being. I love them beyond explanation. And I want the absolute best for all of them. In her teaching, Beth was showing us that underneath those desires we have in our hearts are the basic needs we have, or as she stated it the "heart" of our desire. Her day of teaching can't possibly be summed up in this post, but the impact of what she was trying to teach is very meaningful here. In the lives of our families, our deepest desires may not always be granted by God. Sometimes that child still stays wayward. Sometimes a relationship is never restored. Sometimes in spite of all our prayers, hopes, and tears what we want for those we love best does not happen. Why? Truly the "heart of our desire" lies in a heart that needs to be at peace, loved, and secure. And although we sometimes think those things are found in others, they really are not. They are only found in Christ. When we accept and bask in Him, keeping that relationship growing and strong, He supplies us with what our heart needs, and gives us the peace and courage it takes to deal with all the other "stuff" that we really have no control over anyway. Recently a very wise woman posted something on Facebook that really spoke to me. She was being complemented for the kind of person her son turned out to be . Her comment was, ( and I quote) ...." We can teach what we want but it's up to them to put it into practice. He is dear, but that's what he's chosen to be." It's true. Life is all about choice. No matter what we did or didn't do, our children make the final choice in how they live their lives. Regret, guilt, and anguish do nothing to change that. The choice is in the hands of the individual. It's the same way with God. He can show us the way, give us examples, place the Truth in our hands. But the choice is ours.We can allow Him to give us the desires of our heart....peace, security, unfailing love, or we can choose otherwise. But it is a choice. This brings me to a quote you have probably heard from me before. I heard it many years ago. The quote is, "Most people do the best they can with what they know at the time." This can apply to ourselves, regarding past parenting and other mistakes that were made. It also can apply to our children and other loved ones we may be grieving for. Ponder that.
So, if we rely on the Father to give us the desires of our heart, does that mean we stop praying about family situations that need to be better? Never. Of course we pray....constantly. We love them...we wait for them, and we hope for a happy ending, whether here or in the hereafter. But in the meantime, we bask in the Father. He IS all we need. He IS the true desire of our hearts. He created us that way. A life filled with Him is the best "mothers desire" we can have for our children and families. Pray for that. BEG for that.....and rest in Him in the meantime.
Comments
Post a Comment