Worth It


"Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known.  But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is."
                                           - 1John 3:2

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit."
                                         - Proverbs 18:21

 This journey I'm taking on holiness is turning out to be many faceted.  There are bumps, turns, twists in the road that I never even considered.  But it's a fascinating road to be on, and I have so much to learn.
     I'm discovering that holiness means so much more than I thought it did.  I, too,had this vision of someone pious, who never had any fun, looking down her nose at others who struggled. I am finding that those who are honest about a search for holiness know all too well their own inability to sustain it.  My greatest attempts at holiness are piteously inadequate when held up to the standard of a holy God. The truth of the matter is, I am beginning to see that any sin, any violation of the guidelines God gives us, is a violation of the holiness we aspire to.
     I went to the Women of Faith conference in Kansas City over the weekend.  I always consider my time well spent if I get one meaningful piece of information at a conference.  This time I was given many things to drive my thoughts for a while.  One, however, was so applicable to ALL of us I just have to share it with you.  The subject was 'Conflict' and the speaker was Lysa TerKeurst, from Proverbs 31 ministries.  You can find her on Facebook if you like.  I believe studying conflict also fits in to the umbrella of holiness.  Handling conflicts in an ungodly manner can not only harm the cause of Christ, but put a wall between ourselves and Him who can't be a party to sin in any way. Keep in mind, these concepts are hers, and the wisdom applies to all of us.
     Anyone reading this have 'zero' amount of conflict in life?  No problems with others, no misunderstandings, never any hurt feelings or disagreements?  Didn't think so.  The truth is, conflicts are a very real part of everyone's lives.  Any time we have conflict, we react in some way.  Conflicts produce feelings of some kind, and those feelings become so worked up we feel we might explode if they don't dissipate somehow.  So, we do one of two things.  Those feelings either go out of our mouths, or are stuffed down, below the level of feeling them at the moment.  Lysa pointed out 4 ways these feelings are processed.  See which ones applies to you:
    
                             * #1 - Exploder Who Blames Others - Lysa says it is not wrong to address issues, it's just wrong to attack the other person.  During conflict, we have the opportunity to bring Holy Spirit power into the moment and avoid that explosion.  PAUSE and let the Holy Spirit act. The verse for this is Proverbs 10:19 -
                "When words are many sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise."

                            *  #2-  Exploder Who Shames Self - In this one, the person doesn't necessarily blame others, but still explodes, then feels great shame.  Personally, I think these two are so close they are virtually the same.  An exploder (me for MANY, many years) is usually going to blame others and always feel shame if he/she is a Christian close to the Lord.  Lysa says we need to try to get perspective here.  How many people in the world would trade their problems for yours?  The scripture given for this one is Proverbs 12:16 -
                "A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult."

                          * #3 - Stuffer Who Builds Barriers - (this one is me now).  I think many Christians are stuffers, because we feel that   being silent is the right thing to do.  You say you're fine when you're really not fine.  You put up walls and/or back away from the relationship.  She encourages us to let go of pretending, and be honest with the person in conflict with us.
The scripture is Proverbs 10:18, and 21:
                    "Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips and spreads slander is a fool.  The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of sense."

Yup.  That's me.  Foolish.  I am so chicken to face issues calmly that I stuff and build, stuff and build.  Need to work on that .  This first verse says I'm lying when I am not honest about how I feel.  Not too holy, huh?

                       *4 - Stuffer Who Collects Retaliation Rocks - In this reaction, the person has a deep desire to prove they are right.  This stuffer will explode eventually.  All the stored wrongs will  come out at the most inopportune moment.  Lysa asks us to let go of proving.  A good question to ask ourselves is " Am I trying to prove I'm right, or improve the relationship?" The scripture is Proverbs 10:14:
                      "The wise store up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool invites ruin."

     Our journey to holiness is a lifelong process.  I don't think we ever "arrive".....only one person did that.  And He's the one who has given us this amazing opportunity to know God.  To really know Him.  Isn't it worth working on some of our "stuff" to please Him?


   
    

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