My Heart Outside My Body

The title today is an expression I use. It describes how I have felt for 37 years. Once I held that baby girl I my arms, I knew from that day forward I would be living with my heart outside my body. Tht she and later my son would have my heart with them for the rest of my life. It was absolutely no longer mine. And it hasn't been since. I have to admit, today's "fear lesson" is a tough one. I've grappled with it quite a while, and I still am not sure that what I have to share with you is the way I wanted it to be. It's one most of us have experienced, and continue to experience on a regular basis. It's one we may not conquer on this side of heaven. I know I have a hard time with it. It's begins the minute you discover the news. Seven or eight months from now you will be a parent. That's when it starts. The feeling in the pit of your stomach that will never leave. And even then you don't know the full extent of it. Max Lucado expresses it this way; "Every parent melts the moment he or she fells the full force of parenthood." That second you fall helplessly and hopelessly in love with that little face.....and realize it is YOUR responsibility to see that he or she has enough. Lucado calls it the 'semitruck of parenting' that comes loaded with fears. Fear we won't have enough money, enough answers, enough protection, enough patience, the list goes on and on. The main fear with parenting is that your child will be safe. There are many ways to be unsafe, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I can imagine the physical death of a child would be the ultimate pain. Although I have never had to walk through this experience, I have friends who have. I don't think it ever leaves you. I remember David. Great King of Israel. Although he was a 'man after God's own heart' he was not above sin. When he took Bathsheba and got rid of his competition Uriah, David was eventually faced with the death of that first child with her. During the time when the child was sick, David was beside himself. He wouldn't eat, he wouldn't speak, he just 'lay upon the earth'. Riddled with fear. My favorite book/movie is "Gone with the Wind". In this story, Rhett and Scarlett face the death of their daughter after she falls from her horse. The fear and anguish forever changes their lives and relationship. In our time, we often hear of children disappearing, with parents left behind to imagine what has happened to them. Probably the most remarkable story of this is the one of Jaycee Dugard, the 11 year old child who was abducted for 18 years. She was finally returned to her family as an adult with two children of her own. Her story, "A Stolen Life" is hard to read. But it is a story of courage... of her courage and her mother's. They both faced unimaginable fear for many years. Just hearing of these situations can terrorize the rest if us when we think of our own children and grandchildren. We all have experienced the pain of watching a child suffer however, whether it be illness, when friends are cruel, when he doesn't make the team or when she doesn't make cheerleader, or the broken heart of your child when love goes wrong. No matter how relatively minor the experience, when we see our child suffer it is excruciating. We long to 'fix it', and we fear we can't. Lucado points to Luke 8 and the story of Jarius, a synagogue leader. His 12 year old daughter was dying. Described as panicked, Jarius fell at Jesus' feet, fervently pleading with Him for help. Wouldn't you? Don't you? Jesus brought Jarius' daughter back to life. He told Jairus he must only believe. Believe. What should we believe about the safety of our children? Lucado's reminds us of one very important truth: our kids were His kids first. They are still His kids. We are gifted with them to raise and love and care for on this earth. But ultimately, they are His. And, as much as we love them, He loves them infinitely more. In my experience, it is much easier to lay myself down for God's will than to lay my kids down. And I do that. But I invariably pick them back up. Picking those concerns back up again can lead to a serious case of fear. One that is disabling, paralyzing, and filled with paranoia. So how can we deal with this common fear without becoming overprotective, constantly frightened parents and grandparents? Max Lucado quotes the following verse to answer this question: "Pour out your heart like water before the face of The Lord. Lift your hands toward Him for the life of your young children." Lamentations 2:19 Sometimes no matter how hard we try, no matter the amount of worry and care we pour over our children, sometimes our fears are realized. Some of us have to live through experiences that are very painful for our children, and some of us have to watch a child's life on this earth end. God knows how we feel. He had to do that too. He knows what that kind of hurt is. The only thing we can do is to turn our concerns for our children over to the One who loved them first. Sometimes it can be a whisper or a slight mention of a minor concern. Other times , you may need to beg God to take care of your child. Whatever the concern, prayer is the only thing to do with concerns for our children. God is big enough and loves us enough to handle any situation. Sometimes, the way God takes care of our kids, however, may not be exactly the way we want it done. That's when we really have to BELIEVE that God is who He says He is. If we really Believe what He says in His Word, then we can be confident that He is 'working all things together for good.' If we really believe, we will know the only security our children need is that of their eternal security. If we really believe, we will be confident, even if a child is lost from this world, that we can survive it because we will see that child again. If we really believe, we can truly place our children in His hands with confidence and full trust. This belief, this faith, is not an easy task. But Jesus asks so little of us. The one thing He does ask is that we have faith. In the case of our children, those who carry our hearts in their hands, faith and prayer is the only truly effective weapon we have for their protection.