Life's Too Short.....
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
Well, today is one of those days when I have a lot of reflection going on in this crazy head of mine. Pondering life questions. Lots of whys, I don't like it, I don't wannas circulating through my thought processes. I look out at the beautiful snow scenery in my yard and know the picture should make me serene and peaceful. But I'm not serene and peaceful today. I feel like a whining child who doesn't want to do what the parent says.....not caring whether its good for me or not. Not caring that my parents know what is best for me.....just wanting what I want.
There is also a certain amount of guilt contained in having a day like this. I am a born-again Christian. Probably considered one of those "evangelicals" the media talks about. Someone who has publically and privately committed my life to Christ. So, that should make me know all the answers, huh? I shouldn't feel so unsettled, asking "why"....feeling despondent over events in my world. Well, I still do sometimes.
I could give you a list of all the things I am questioning today, but I'm not going to do that. My guess is, you have your list of "why's?" as well. So, today I'm just going to tell you to fill in the blanks with your own thoughts. Here goes:
"It breaks my heart that:______________________."
"I'm frightened that:________________________."
"I am so angry about______________________."
"I can't understand why God _________________."
If you notice, all those statements above are based on feelings....fear, anger,sadness, misunderstanding. In my conscious mind, I know that relying on feelings when trying to understand what is going on in the world can get you into trouble quickly. For most of my life, I faced the world every day based on my feelings (which could change at the drop of a hat I might add!). When one reacts to events based solely on feelings, she can do much she will regret later. I know. Trust me.
Trust. That's the word I need to think about today. The scripture in Proverbs tells us to trust in the Lord. The word 'trust' in this verse comes from the Hebrew batach (baw-takh) meaning to go quickly for refuge...to be confident, bold, or sure. So, if I think about that, Proverbs 3 tells me I can quickly go to the Lord for refuge.....that I can be confident, be sure, in Him. My feelings can go from fear and anger to trust and confidence.
Why is that? It's easy to say that we can trust Him.....but what about when it is REALLY tough? When there are seemingly no answers? A couple of the reasons I feel so lousy today have to do with situations that have very few answers. So it becomes hard to turn off those feelings of fear and anger and 'confidently go quickly' to the Lord for refuge.
I think it becomes a little bit easier when we remember the motives of our Lord. One verse to cling to is in Jeremiah:
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. He has great plans for us. To prosper us. In the KJV the word is peace or shalom (shaw-lome) which is defined as safe, well peace, prosperity, welfare. All good words looking out for our benefit. He has no plans to harm us or hurt us. So I have to know that all these things that are making me scared, angry, and breaking my heart are not His attempt to harm the people He loves. I have to cling to that.
Knowing that you know, that you know, that you know.....that He is good through everything helps. That He does have a plan....and many times it is not our plan. But He does have a plan. He IS good. And He does love and want what's best for us. I just have to trust that is true. Just like the old hymn: "Only trust Him, only trust Him, only trust Him now." Sometimes hard to do. But we HAVE to, to live anything but a fearful, angry life. And life is way too short for that.
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