Who Moved?

Blah.I don't know whether I am tired from being away from home so long, if I'm getting sick or what it is, but my energy level is just nil.Has been for a few days. And I have to be honest with you;I am in a real spiritual lull right now as well. I know why that is true, and I'm working on it, but so far I'm not making much progress. Being on vacation, I also took a "vacation" from the Word , thus my spiritual pit. I know better . It seems like just a few days without reading from the Bible, and my prayer life suffers too, as does my mood and everything else. And it takes a few days to get back in sync with God like I should be. In years passed, I did not understand why my prayers seemed to " bounce off the walls " of my room. Sometimes that still happens, but I understand why now. Although God loves us more than anyone else can even imagine, He is also jealous. He wants to be #1 and He's not gonna accept anything else. So, if you're like me and sometimes neglect the way He communicates with us the most, His Word, then prayers are going to feel like bouncing balls. The point is, the relationship needs to be continuous. Constant. Like breathing. Almost to the point that when you have a thought it is usually prefaced with His name, as in a conversation. That's what giving Him first place in your life looks like. I have to admit I'm not always the best at that. I believe this is sometimes the problem when we face trials and feel like God is not in them with us. If the trial begins during a period when we have neglected the relationship,all of a sudden we are really interested in God being with us to get us through it. I can imagine, if He were like us, He might say , "What? NOW you want to talk to me? Sorry. Now IM busy.". I also believe that God uses discomfort and difficult circumstances to remind us where our priority needs to be. I know He has had to do that with me. Some people just have to have it the hard way. I used to have these problems all the time. Bouncing prayers. A feeling of emptiness. Always searching for validation. Going to church, working in church. But I never really " got" there.Matthew 7 is a good chapter for those like I was and could not understand why I did all these things and still felt empty. Verses 21-23 say:
"Not everyone who says to me 'Lord, Lord' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day , "Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles? Then I will tell them plainly, 'Away from me you evildoers! I never knew you.' "
To me, those are some of the the scariest words Jesus spoke. When I felt that way all the time, I was not saved. Thought I was, but not until I was saved did I realize how close I came to being one of those people Jesus was speaking to. It's clear though, that being saved does not exclude us from those empty feelings on occasion. But He doesn't move, we do. And when we do, the best thing we an do is to run back as fast as we can. You know how I am affected by music. That's why it is a really good idea for me to listen to Christian music all the time. Barlowgirl has a song entitled "Never Alone" . The title is immediately intriguing when we feel this way. The chorus says: "I cried out with no reply and I can't feel you by my side So I'll hold tight to what I know you're here, and I'm never alone" When we reach these lulls, when we feel alone, and blah, and empty, if we are in Christ we can count on the words from the Brlowgirls' song that we are NEVER alone. And the point then is to run back as quickly as we can. That's my plan. After all I'm the one who moved.

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